[WARNING: CONTAINS STRONG LANGAUGE]

Why top 5? 'Cause I'm lazy, that's why! Go write your own damn top list if you want a top 10, Mr. Fantabulous / Lady Awsome!

May I continue uninterupted now, oh Great-One? Thank you.

No. 5) Trainspotting:

A movie about a heroine addict with a shit life and even shitter friends trying to go straight.
This film's depictions of drug hallucinations are now prolific, with the scene in which Ewen McGreggor's character is forced to go cold turkey featuring some of the most haunting images ever put on film.

No. 4) Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas:

Loosely based on legendary Left-Wing drug addict Dr. Hunter S. Thompson's own experiances, we follow a constantly stoned Johnny Depp on a hilarious hallucinatory journey through early-70s Las Vegas, and discover that the world actually makes a lot more sense the less you are a part of it...

No. 3) Raising Arizona:

This is a movie about two white-trash rejects who kidnap a baby because they can't have one of their own. Cue a bounty-hunter who appears in balls of flame to opera music and grenades bunnies, a couple of murderous jailbirds with hearts of gold, and an old man who eats sand when the fishing's poor.

No. 2) Fight Club:

This one's about a heavily pessimistic office-drone who's name escapes me (as it will you), who's life is changed incredibly after he meets a sadistic and highly charismatic soap salesman named Tyler Durton, who spends his spare time cumming in mushroom soup and splicing pornography into reels of Snow White & the Seven Dwarves. The two start up an underground boxing-club made up of equally disilusioned men that Tyler quickly starts manipulating into a nation-wide terrorist network.
But who is Tyler, really, and why doesn't he like our lathargic hero talking about him to outsiders...?

No. 1) Natural Born Killers:

Our champion is about two homicidal maniacs named Micky & Mallory, as they travel around America killing and raping just about every poor soul they come across.
What will strike you first and hardest is how immediatly likeable this phsychopathic couple actually are, to the point that despite all the terrible things they've done, you genuinely want them to get a happy ending.
This movie features crazed brakes in story and imagry that will baffle you as much as keep you watching, and really is one of those films where you'll leave it thinking it's one of the worst movies ever made, or one of the best.

Thanks for reading, and comment where you will.

Oh...!

Honourable Mention - Audition:

A Japanese shocker about a widower who holds a fake TV audition to find a new wife.
This movie goes on so slowly that I almost stopped watching it halfway through, as I was expecting gore and savagery, and all I seemed to be getting was endless scenes of talking and sm-- WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE HOLLY NIPPLE FUCKING CHRIST IS THAT THING?! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS WOMAN?! WHAT FUCK IS WRONG WITH HER?! WHAT'S SHE GONNA DO WITH THAT WIRE, WHY-- OH DEAR GOD SHE SAWED IT OFF! THIS BITCH IS CRAZY!! RUN!!! NO ONE IS SAFE!!! NO ONE!!! NO ONE!!! NO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!